I’ve always had a hard time being present in any given situation. I think that’s why I enjoy fine dining, because it sort of forces you to concentrate on the few things that are happening in front of you, and in really great dining experiences, it just makes you forget the world. 

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with being distracted most of the time. If i’m working on something, I’m always thinking about what I will do next or what I could be doing. 

Even as I write this piece, I’m thinking about the paintings that I should get to, the people I have to call, the van I need to wash, and the errands I should be running right now to make life a bit easier later on. 

But I realized a very important thing today. It’s that if I’m not present and attentive to what I’m doing right now, then I won’t reap the benefits of the rich experience of doing some of the things that I’m doing. 

Painting for example is one where I do it because I enjoy it. It makes me happy, but unless I lose myself in it, it sort of seems more like a chore, something I should be doing, which then makes it easily justifiable to not do it because there are more important things. 

And I think this trend of distraction is also seen in my life on a much bigger scale. All my life, I’ve always looked forward to the next thing instead of wholly appreciating the season of my life that I’m in right now. 

But as we all are experiencing these days with COVID-19, we are all sort of stuck in one place, without being able to plan too far into the future. I’m in a bit of a lull, where the city I’m living in is not one I plan on staying for longer than necessary, and with a job that I don’t see myself doing long term (though it does have valuable lessons with it). 

I’m looking forward to travelling again, and I can’t wait to get on the road. I can’t wait to see where I end up next. And yet, right now, everything is at a stand still and I’m forced to be present. 

But it’s not really a bad thing, is it?

I’ve challenged myself to really take the time to be present. To enjoy times with the people that are closest to me, and take the time to just get to know them a little bit better. Make the phone calls and actually spend the time listening and talking, deepening those relationships. And taking the time to enjoy the place I am in right now, as who knows how long I will be here. 

I realized that I don’t want to make the mistake of leaving and feeling like I missed out on something. 

I guess the question is, what are the valuable lessons and wonderful experiences that this pause in life is bringing us? I’ll have to ponder that one.