The journey of life sometimes looks like this. (The Great Wall of China, 2018)

I don’t know if you struggle with patience, but I sure do. 

As a restless human being, I tend to spend most of my time thinking about what’s next, what else I could be doing, how can I do what I’m currently doing more efficiently, and is this the best thing I could be doing right now. 

It’s sometimes exhausting, but in all honesty, I don’t mind. 

But it hasn’t always fared well when interacting with others. I tend to have high expectations for myself, and some of those expectations leak out and are placed on others as well. I think maybe I’m too judgmental, but it just drives me crazy to see people fail to make the most of their time. 

Patience has been a virtue, or a skill, that I have yet to master. But as I’ve gotten older, I feel like maybe I’ve gotten more patient. 

But this has come with a bit of a troubling question. 

Does patience come more easily with lowered expectations? 

It sounds a bit harsh but it seems like it's a large part of it. By expecting less or even nothing from others, you're more likely to show patience as you didn’t expect anything to begin with. By lowering your own expectations, you will be less likely to be disappointed, and be patient with whatever is happening around you. 

For example, if you get off work and expect that you will be home in three hours on a half hour commute, you won’t be as angry when you hit rush hour or a construction zone. 

Which brings me to my next question. 

Do you actually grow in your patience, or is it more a matter of changes in your environment and your expectations of it that force you to be patient?

And does growth actually just mean lowering your expectations and changing your environment?

I remember how impatient I was while I owned a restaurant. It was stressful and every single day it seemed I was getting pushed past my comfort zone. 

Am I more patient now because I’ve grown in my patience? Or is it because I don’t own a restaurant anymore?

I sometimes think to myself that I have no reason to be impatient at the moment. I don’t have kids to raise (which means I can completely set my own schedule). I don’t have much that I need to be working on as the job I’m currently working doesn’t require any work outside of my scheduled work time and I don’t have any management responsibilities. I actually can’t even get impatient about setting up plans with others, as most of us are quarantined or socially distanced at the moment. 

Either way, maybe I have grown in patience, and maybe I’ve just lowered my expectations for myself, others, and life. Does it make a difference? I don’t know...but the former sounds encouraging while the latter sounds downright depressing. 

What do you think?